Opening up my negative aura.
Sometimes, I just hate my job, my workplace (Maybe it's because of the ppl and the situation I'm in).
Did I tell you that I hate feminism and now, I really hate pretenders more! Its true what one of my colleagues had said to me before, not if I wanna side him/her. But pretenders?! They are similar to hypocrites and backstabbers! Put it this way, if they can be hypocritical to others, it's never impossible that they can do it to you too. So to anyone out there reading this, you might just wanna be extra cautious in making friends. You'll never know when will you be stabbed at your back or maybe, you are already being stabbed long ago but you don't even realise it. This kind of thing can come anytime when you least expecting it. Btw, if anyone of you starts guessing if you are the one I'm talking about right now, you are wrong. I don't even mention any names yet. Why do you doubt yourself in the first place? Pls dont think too much.
I shall say this, one more time. I know whatever I've said and going to say right now is totally none of your business and that you don't even care. I don't care either if you care or not.
I really hate those people (you so called friends) who know our problems but don't even care about it. They only think of themselves. They always want others to listen to them. I know I shouldn't anticipate anything in return. But sometimes, it's just saddening to know if a close friend of yours, don't even remember the good things you've done for them just because of one pathetic mistake you did. Life is unfair.
But I know wherever I go, God is always there for me. He understands it all. Anyhow, I shall not ponder over this too much. I just wanna let it all out here.
The world I see now
feels a hue from an auburn
and the day will move along into a blue.
By then we will know the truth to the whys.
The great affair is to move.
*
I'm so sleepy constantly that I think it's an illness. I sleep on the train, the bus, the taxi, after lunch, after dinner (that'll be only during my off-days), at any given opportunity. But at night I'd be wide awake. I'm weirdly nocturnal. The first thing I think of when I wake up everyday is when I can sleep again. On the bus? The train? After dinner? Tonight? I try to stay awake but once my mind wanders off into the Realms of Nothingness, my eyes start to close. Coffee seems to have little or no effect on me. I can have a double shot expresso and still fall into slumber after forty winks.
This talk about sleeping is making me very sleepy. For once I really should sleep early. But again...
*
Last Saturday evening, I did operations, that is customer service plus helping out my fellow cashier mates (Taufiq, you know I was just kiddin about it yesterday), and I realised one thing - there was no affinity between me and numbers, which perhaps explained my total lack of conscious effort to save up cash.
Already, I've laid out a six-month plan just so i can save up just in time for a trip to Bangkok next year (sigh. now that a lot of things have happened, I might just think twice), another PSP slim for myself, and perhaps a new digital camera to replace my dying one. But I've got the upcoming Hari Raya expenditures and my neverending list of dvds to purchase. Food. And, finally, after years and years of hanging clothes that I didn't even wear. They are all gone now. Its time for a new change of apparels. More tshirts will come soon. Well, maybe you ppl should just confine me so I will not spend another cent.
Initially, I wanted to set aside more savings this month, but I'm the guy who spends too much and still doesn't know how to spend less or save more.
This morning, I went for a swim (yes, you read that right. I haven't been swimming and running for two months at least and I hate it when I have to start back from zero with no motivation at all. Somehow, my body kept giving good excuses to the brain telling it not to go for a jog or swim. The body wins every single time!). After which, I went to Bugis St. with my family where we had lunch and then it was down to Bugis Junction. I even entertained the thought of just window shopping. But somehow or rather, I actually bought myself quite a number of things including this Slurplife tshirt which I think is a bit pricey.
But the feeling's damn good la! I won't slurge on outrageously priced tshirts, but this one had a good design, well at least to me. (The one on the right side is only its paper bag)
*
Meanwhile, I'm actually hooked on God of War (Felinda had wanted to sell me this at a certain price but it wasn't worth it, I guessed) and Brave Story recently. Freaking awesome.
So tell me, how can I ever break my insomniac cycle and finally sleep early.
(On a side note, I dont wanna go to the fireworks cause I'm having problems that day. I need time by myself. Why can't you try to understand? You only think of yourself dont you? I've always been thinking of others lately, it's time to think of mine. As a friend, I respect whatever you wanna do and you respect mine! As easy as that. About the Bangkok trip, you should have at least encourage me. Not just jump into conclusion and then rant about it.)
*Hopefully I don't sound grey or gloomy on my next post. I want to be happy, free and to others who already knows what I'm going thru right now, you know this wont be long. To Radin, Ayu and Mira thanks. For you've always been there.
