The end is the beginning is the end.

Yesterday was Chin Lee's last day. There was once he approached me and for the very first time, he finally called me by my proper name and not the usual Ah-Fan. I looked at him and replied with a hello. But he suddenly showed me this very sad face. Strangely, I didn't ask him why but I immediately mentioned that I'm sad too. He did ask me why with a pat on my shoulder. I answered, "because today is your last day". He smiled at me and advised me in a strict but friendly manner not to be silly.

What he said instantly jolt me up from slumber. Life changes in an instant but I supposed a part of me didn't wanna let go of the past. At times, I wonder what is holding me back. There are text messages in my phone that are dated as far as two years back. I have a habit of not deleting my text messages until the phone reminds me that the memory is full, and then I'd delete the latest ones until I see some random message from months ago.

I told myself that the moment I finally bring myself to click 'Delete All Inbox', it means I am ready to move on to a new page. But I don't feel it yet.

By the way, Orange. I'm certainly gonna miss him punching me on my shoulders which I clearly have no idea of what purpose, sometimes stealing my lunch and calling me Ah Fan each time I stepped into the back office. It'll be exactly just like how you miss him calling you Apple, I know. He's funny. Suddenly, it reminded me that many a times, he wrongly called me by my colleague's name (which weirdly sound similar to others). That day before his last day, he called me wrongly again, and my other colleagues corrected him loudly by saying my proper name (No wonder he called me correctly that day). Then I told him jokingly that he will certainly forget me after he leaves since he always forgot my proper name. I have not a clue but the funny thing is he gave me a long hug after which and smiled.

However, I didn't manage to say a proper goodbye to him before he left. What with the pathetic tonnes of stocks to shelve. I'm surely gonna miss and ponder the old times. As much as I badly wanna turn back time. But I know there are many others who still cling on to their past. Just today, my colleagues talked about all the happy times they had with their ex-colleagues over lunch. Good memories will never go away, won't they?



*



A change would be good? Or bad?

I am not a huge fan of change. In other breaking news, Monday, I will have to work with someone new. Not that anyone really care. It's gonna be a whole new chapter again. Why is it that when I was about to feel comfortable working with someone, they just had to leave.

To be honest, I just hate the beginnings. Sometimes.

All I ask for is __________.

So anyways, we need to move on.

*

To you,

I'd always hold on to this quote saying "Don't let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in theirs."

The truth is, I'm not gonna waste my time. 'Nuff said.






I could fall asleep anytime now, even though I know a cup of coffee is all it takes to jolt me up from a slight slumber.

I'm quite tired, really. But I will give a smile still, albeit weakly.

Peace pills, people.